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Dr. Bronner Stresses Me Out, Man
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2-7_2008-drbronner.jpg
I had a revelation in the shower at 6 AM: the trademark text-heavy label on the Dr. Bronner's bottle makes me dizzy. It's not just the excess of exclamation points and quotation marks! Also sentence fragments: IN THE UPPER CASE! Though I have had a grammar fetish since eighth grade —thank you, Mrs. Kennedy— there's something about the panoply of type styles, sizes, and spacing all on a curved surface that started my head spinning this morning.

So, I resolved to do something about the offensive type. But that's proving difficult...

 
 

Why not just peel off the label? Well, it's silkscreened on the bottle, so that's not an option. Further complicating the issue: the natural, glycerin based soap tends to clog bottle spouts and pumps. If you've used Dr. Bronner's, you know the lid gets clogged every now and then, which is probably why there's a protruding piece on the cap designed to punch through the congealed mass.

This property rules out most pump and squeeze bottle solutions, so I'm hoping someone out there on the internets has solved this problem in an elegant way. One more thing: it's going in the shower, and I'm clumsy, so that rules out glass. Help!

photo Jonathan Bean

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AT on..., Dr. Bronner's, dizziness, solution, ugly bottle

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Comments (37)

I don't know if it's waterproof, but you could try using some leftover contact paper to cover the label.

posted by leabe14 on February 7th 2008 at 8:32am
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how about a bottle "cozy"--like the ones you slip over your can of beer--could make it out of some type of plastic? water resistant nylon?

posted by taracakes on February 7th 2008 at 8:36am
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I use Bronners a lot. I actually like the label haha. To keep the soap from hardening, you need to keep it in a warmer area of your house. That's all I can think of right now. The hardening aspect if kind of troubling I agree. If they didn't want it to harden another ingredient would have to be added.

posted by far83 on February 7th 2008 at 8:49am
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Since watching the documentary "Dr. Bronners Magic Soapbox" (http://www.magicsoapbox.com/) I can tolerate the writing :-) Since Dr. Bronners is normally mixed with water, I don't have the actual container in my shower or anywhere else I use it. I have cheap plastic squirt bottles, the travel kind, that I have mixed at different concentrations under the kitchen sink and in the bathroom.

posted by classiccook on February 7th 2008 at 8:58am
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We use foamy bottles for all our Bronners needs. I think we got ours from KindHeartedWomen. That way we know that we're not wasting any because it's already been diluted and it makes handwashing a blissful experience for our 2 year old. :D

In addition to the crazy typography, I don't like the labels because the silkscreening seems to flake off and leave messes everywhere too.

posted by Katie of RunawayOctober on February 7th 2008 at 9:18am
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Shouldn't be hard to find a reusable plain bottle with the right size cap. Swap the cap/lid from the Bronners bottle onto your new one and you're good to go.

posted by ChzPlz on February 7th 2008 at 10:24am
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Ahh... the good old days of the paper label on Bronners soap...

I've found using washing-up liquid style bottles (with the push/pull tops) tend to work best for re-bottling Bronners.

posted by Ether Maiden on February 7th 2008 at 10:36am
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You can buy Dr. Bronner's in bulk (most stores carry the gallon size) and use a different bottle/pump.

posted by Carmella on February 7th 2008 at 12:01pm
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Like leabe14, I vote that you paste something over the offending label.

posted by mmadden on February 7th 2008 at 2:26pm
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My local co-op sells that brand in bulk, so we just use a plain (no logo) container.

posted by wesaturtle on February 7th 2008 at 3:06pm
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buy it in bar soap form!

posted by ljh on February 7th 2008 at 3:13pm
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I just find it so funny that Dr. B stresses you out. ALL ONE, my brother!
:)

Next time you finish a bottle of shampoo or conditioner, wash it out and put the Dr. Bronners in there...

posted by tinychoices on February 7th 2008 at 4:54pm
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Here's what worked for me: First, spend lots of time reading and staring at a computer monitor. Doing this in poor light is best. Also, have a genetic predisposition to nearsightedness. After 20-something years, you will be legally blind without glasses and unable to read any bottle in your shower. Ta da! No more stress.

posted by dancingspring on February 8th 2008 at 8:44am
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I support buying bulk sizes and using recycled plastic shampoo or soap bottles -- otherwise you are adding unnecessary waste turning a 'green' product into a less 'green' one.

posted by phaedrus on February 8th 2008 at 9:03am
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If you like the peppermint, Trader Joe's makes its own version, without any Moral ABCs on the bottle.

Also, Dr.Bronner's works well in the foam-style liquid hand soap pumps. I water it down by half and keep a dispenser (I used up the original hand soap and re-purposed the dispenser) in the shower with the unscented baby soap in it, for laundering my toddler.

One of the larger bottles used to say "Help unite mankind! Or we're all wandering clowns!" I always liked that one, and often use it as an email signature quote.

posted by ysabella on February 8th 2008 at 1:38pm
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I definitely agree about the foam pump, they're great! Since it's already so concentrated it's a good way to bring that down a notch and extend your soap, plus foam soap is just more fun!

I at http://www.voyageursoapandcandle.com/store/details.asp?prodid=77102&cat=772&path=

They're approximately $3

posted by CWillows on February 10th 2008 at 6:56am
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How could you not love the Moral ABCs? (Agreed with classiccook, especially after watching Dr. Bronner's Magic Soapbox!)

I have reused Kiss My Face foaming bottles for Dr. B's, diluted. It only clogs every once in a while.

posted by jesse@humanerecipe on February 11th 2008 at 9:13am
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What about pouring it into some other plastic bottle? I'd put it in a 20 oz. Coke bottle, but then maybe I'm the only person who would find that funny. :-)

posted by parhelia on February 11th 2008 at 9:36am
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How about just concentrate on getting yourself clean and ignore the bottle???

posted by jamilkb on February 11th 2008 at 9:56am
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I also dilute my Dr. Bronner's and re-use my Kiss My Face foaming bottles. I've never had it clog, and my bottle of Dr. B's has lasted over a year!

posted by eat more lemons on February 11th 2008 at 10:23am
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i like the label :)

posted by my little apartment on February 11th 2008 at 11:01am
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Yeah, almost all my shower packaging is ugly. While I wish my Pantene bottle's design spoke to me on a deep, almost spiritual level, it doesn't. What it does do, however, is get my hair clean. There are more important things to concern one's self with. This article is almost laughable.

posted by jon on February 11th 2008 at 1:17pm
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The first time you need to read the bottle, do so seated and in good light. Then shower. If you need to read the label again - wait until you are out of the shower and back in your chair with the good light. Or if you are obsessive-compulsive and NEED to read the bottle every time you shower, cover the print with duct tape.

posted by carolart on March 8th 2008 at 10:36am
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My one and only trip to the emergency room was the result of a clogged bottle of Dr. Bronners. I made the mistake of looking to see what was clogging it and wound up getting soap sprayed into my eyes at high pressure. Having soap behind your eyeball is pretty painful. If I ever get up the nerve to use Dr. Bronner's again, I will follow the advice given on this board.

posted by meganelaine on March 8th 2008 at 7:49pm
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Looks like there are a few articles here asking for ideas on plain shower containers... this plastic squeeze bottle would work for any of those applications, and also to decant your Dr. Bronner's. I've used all types of liquid soap in it (over 2 yrs) and have never had clog problems. Because it hangs upside down, I would think the pressure would also help it flow easier, or help push out clogs (and not in your eye, either). And I know, it looks like it would leak, but it doesn't!

posted by fisherino on March 11th 2008 at 8:02pm
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i don't know what kind of shower you have and the storage situation, but if possible, store your soaps/shampoos in the back of the shower so when you are under the water (facing the shower head) you don't have to stare at them. i have it like that in my shower and i find it quite nice.

posted by lcatt on March 17th 2008 at 7:50pm
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If you consider how harmful most other bath products are (those that contain parabans, synthetics) then keep in mind the great service you are doing for yourself by using Dr. Bronner's. May be the Lavender will help to soothe you.

posted by catfish36 on March 20th 2008 at 10:18am
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I SOOO relate to this post. I've tried reading the bottle cuz it just doesn't feel right having a product where I haven't read the label. But it just gives me a headache and the clogging thing has really ticked me off as well. But I love the peppermint and my family doesn't think they're clean unless they are "minty fresh". I had a good laugh and learned about using it in foaming bottles. Awesome!

posted by vintagedesignsmith on March 31st 2008 at 9:05pm
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Wait, I am feeling a little crazy over this...
if it makes you dizzy, why do you stare at the bottle? How long do you really need to look at it? the 2 seconds it takes to use it?

Did you really need help with this?

posted by fbl on April 1st 2008 at 6:20am
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ROFL
Stop reading it! ;)

posted by whytephoenix on July 10th 2009 at 3:25pm
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I read this post last year and took the advice of using the foaming bottles (http://www.schoolnursesupplyinc.com/images/products/18296.jpg) and it has been great. We now have a foaming bottle of Dr. B's in the shower, for hand soap in every bathroom, in the kitchen for hand and dish soap. Not only is there less soap buildup in our bathrooms, but we found the best results are to dilute Dr. B's 1:6 with water. We spend much less on the soap. Thanks for the great post!

posted by betabethany on July 10th 2009 at 3:35pm
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I use the tea tree Dr. B's, watered down a bit, in an old hand-soap pump - and I haven't had any clogs yet! I'm usually the first to shower in the morning, and while it IS Summer, I suspect that a daily shower keeps the soap warm enough even in winter to prevent the hardening, as I've had no problems...

posted by JuiceyJuice on July 10th 2009 at 4:01pm
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I use an small Philosophy liquid soap bottle. But it is mainly because I buy the larger unwieldy bottle of Dr. Bronner's.

posted by terpsicore on July 10th 2009 at 4:41pm
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How 'bout you stop using that hippy soap and start bathing like a grown-up?

posted by teacupcake on July 10th 2009 at 6:00pm
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WE'RE ALL-ONE OR NONE!

DILUTE! DILUTE! OKAY!

posted by Very Miao on July 10th 2009 at 10:03pm
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I actually avoid Dr. Bonner's because I find the stupid bottle so annoying. I was going to buy it, and then I started reading the bottle... thought, 'WTF'... and stuck it back on the shelf.

posted by jyw on July 11th 2009 at 2:20pm
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Thanks for bringing back an old favorite -- this article. I can't help but laugh out loud reading through it again. I hate the label, too, but always buy the soap!

posted by oaxacaborn on July 16th 2009 at 4:40pm
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