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It is common practice here (Canada)to remove your shoes when you get into the house. I do know when I visit relatives in New York they think that my daughter is weird for insisting her shoes come off. I do know that sometimes we dont but it is usually the thing to do vs not to do.

I just find it keeps everything cleaner that way.

my mother's house has always been shoes-off, and while i never asked for her reasons it is a very clean place with relatively little vacuuming/mopping/etc. to do, and my brothers and i have followed suit in our apartments. when visiting anyone else, i usually take my shoes off out of respect for their floors unless it's clear they're not at all worried about that kind of thing, in which case i'm more concerned with respecting my feet.

My dad is half Japanese, and his mother always insisted on shoes coming OFF. I grew up following suit, although I think it actually kinda bothered my mom until she realized how much cleaner her house was if her two tom-boys left their shoes at the entrance. My home is mostly shoes-off, but it's more because we like to go barefoot than anything. I *do* encourage my guests to take theirs off at the door, especially if there are a lot of us, because getting stepped on by bare feet hurts a lot less than getting stepped on by somebody's spike heel.

Growing up my Mom was a stickler about shoes coming off at the front door, but right when I left the house for good Dad doesn't get yelled at for wearing his sneakers all the time. My apartment has tan wall to wall carpeting, so I prefer that people take their shoes off, and even if they see me do it, do they? No. My thing is that I don't know what they've stepped in, and believe me, if you walk in here and leave a stain on the carpet, you'll be cleaning up your own mess. Sorry to be to stingy, but that's just the way it's gonna be.

We don't usually have to ask our friends to remove their shoes. The display of shoes and flip-flops on the floor in the foyer is enough of a hint! Plus, I feel everyone just seems to be more comfortable and relaxed, myself included. Plus, I grew up always removing my shoes upon entering the house, so anything otherwise is unthinkable to me.

Honestly, it's rude not to at least *ask* if you should remove your shoes (think of all the dirt they can track in!). I always ask, even though I'm so habituated to walking in high heels that I feel naked without them.

My roommates and I all take our shoes off at the door. Close friends who come over casually usually follow suit, since they feel comfortable and are aware of our preference.

However, I would never, ever insist on this if I was throwing a party or something like that, which might include people I know less or friends who don't know each other. Imagine the embarrassing possibilities! Foot odor, long/chipped toenails, unsightly feet, etc. Not to mention the people that get grossed out by feet.

And let's not forget, as unlikely as it is, that infamous episode of sex and the city...

My boyfriend's friends have come over and flat out refused, I have guest slippers too.

Though in the issue of a party, I wouldn't ask for shoes off ....unless it was casual and I'd probably make a note of it on the invit so no-one was wearing impossibly tall laced boots or something like that.

I live in the midwest... well, really, I live just south of center. Pretty much no one does that out here. And, quite frankly there are some people who's foot hygiene is such that I wouldn't want to be exposed to their unshod feet. Don't get me wrong there are occasionally people who do that (white carpets, etc) and it's obvious that it's expected, and generally pretty relaxed.

When I get home I generally kick off my shoes at the coat rack but it's not a habit or ritual, just an issue of comfort. My friends are welcome to go shoeless if they want, but I'm not going to ask them to remove their shoes. I'll offer them the option as a comfort, but that's about it.

I don't know that I'd be comfortable wearing guest slippers unless they were disposable.

I find it so odd that people wear shoes inside their own home. How does that work, exactly? Do you wear them into the bathroom, and then when you get out of the shower all clean, your feet are immediately dirty from whatever your shoes tracked in there? How about relaxing on the couch and kicking your feet up (on the coffee table, on the couch) -- do you then rest your head on the couch where your shoes previously rested? And the worst one, for me at least, is going to bed at night. Do you tromp around in your boots all day outside and then most of the night inside, and just take them off bedside when its time to sleep?

So weird. I can't picture it.

I'm from the midwest and we always take off our shoes! I think people in my area go both ways, but in winter in Minnesota, if you leave your shoes on you might as well just dump muddy water all over the house.

I also recently read that in urban areas especially, people track in lead and other heavy metals and toxins on their shoes because cars spew out this kind of stuff. We live in Minneapolis, and everyone I know does the shoes off thing. It's nice.

My husband has taken to bringing his slippers when we visit his parents! I wonder if I should get some guest slippers. As long as people are wearing socks, I don't think it is gross.

In the summer here I am more laid back about the shoe thing, but I feel lucky to be around people who also like to take 'em off! It is just so much cleaner, especially if you have kids who play on the floor.

That infamous episode of SATC will always haunt me though. I won't nag a party guest if their shoes are clean.

My husband and I have lived recently in Thailand and China, both of which tend to observe the "shoes off" rule in homes. In China (in my experience) people then put on slippers to walk around the house to keep their feet off dirty floors, whereas in Thailand they walk around barefoot and keep the floors immaculate. At home, my husband prefers the Thai manner, while I like the Chinese way. It reduced the amount of dirt that comes into the house and wearing slippers means that you don't notice the dirt that makes it! ;-) (i hate emoticons)

Friends are free to do as they please.

mh330,

Those are the questions I wonder about too! It's so gross, when you think about it. Your shoes have tromped through whatever's on the sidewalk...in parking garages...environmental toxins in the soil...so many things.

It would be bad enough in a house with hard-surface floors like mine, but I know people with white wall-to-wall carpet and little kids where everyone is in shoes all the time!

This may be a stretch, but I wonder if it's a sociological phenomenon. The "shoes-on" people I know tend to be more affluent and suburban. The "shoes-off" crowd tend to be more modest and live in more urban areas, but more liberal and better-traveled.

This is something that most people don't think about...but purses/bags are the same way. Think about how many times you put your purse on the floor, or the ground, or a counter in a public bathroom, etc.etc.etc. and then come home and put it on household surfaces. After realizing that I kept my purse on the floor at work all day and then set it on my bed or kitchen table when I came home I got super grossed out. Now my purse ONLY ever rests on floors.

mmwitzke...EEW! I never thought about that. Now I will.

You would never enter a home in Asia without removing your shoes. That would be so rude and uncouth.

On the west coast, polite guests have been removing shoes whenever they see that their hosts do the same. I noticed this starting in the 1980s. Now even non-Asian families take off their shoes in their own homes.

Do folks ever notice how LOUD their steps are on wood floors when they walk barefoot? This has happened to me in two different apts in NYC - the person in the apartment BELOW mine walks around barefoot and I hear the constant thud-thud-thud of her steps. I'm sure she thinks she's being quieter because she's taking off her shoes, but actually it's quite the opposite. It's like hearing the thumping bass of a stereo.
I also can hear my boyfriend wherever's he's walking when barefoot (on our wood floors). Has no one ever noticed this?

In Malaysia, and I imagine throughout many Asian countries, you MUST take your shoes off when entering the house. Not doing so is considered very rude. In the old days, when people lived in wood houses on stilts, there would be a big earthenware 'pot' of water, equipped with a ladle made of coconut shell at the entrance. One would wash his or her feet before entering :) For us, shoes are dirty and you shouldn't track in dirt and impurities into your home. So, no shoes inside my house.

It's very rude to demand ANYTHING of one's guests, period. I don't have any desire to walk around a party in my socks, and I wouldn't dream of asking anyone else too either.

I worked for some people in their home and their rule was no outside shoes in the house. I had slippers that I kept to wear there, and it was really no problem. The problem was that their house smelled like stinky feet from walking around in sweaty socks!

My place is shoes-off for all the reasons listed above. I'm Canadian and I think it pretty much is the norm any place where it snows. It's hard to relax when you're surrounded by puddles of grimy water and chunks of rock salt.

"It's very rude to demand ANYTHING of one's guests, period."

I agree that it's impolite to "demand" things of guests, but it's not out of bounds to ask them to observe certain preferences. I'd ask someone to take off their salt-encrusted boots the same way I'd indicate that smoking should be done on the balcony -- nicely and in a no-big deal way.

For parties, people often bring their dress shoes in a bag and change when they get there. I can see how this would seem weird if you live somewhere warm, but it seems normal to us.

Please DO wear your shoes in my house.

I don't want nasty foot fungus/virus/sweat/stink smeared all over my carpets and floors.

I have a vacuum....I'll cope with the dirt.

You can pretty much gauge my level of friendship with a guest via what's on their feet when they visit. Close friends and family who are welcome to sleep over, drop by for dinner with little notice will have their shoes off, like those of us who live there do. People we don't know who are more formally visiting will usually be wearing shoes, because I don't ask them to take them off.

I usually ask my guests if they have ridden the subway or taken a cab to come visit me. If so, everyone must take their pants off.

I don't know what was on those seats that they sat in.

Last time I checked, people don't hawk up loogies, track dirt onto, poop on, pee on, pour beer on, have their dogs poop or pee on, stomp out cigarettes on, dump toxic chemicals on, pour anti-freeze on, dribble gasoline on, or blow snot rockets onto .... subway seats.

I live in South Africa and I have never ever EVER been asked to remove my shoes in someone else's home!

Sure I take my shoes off when I get home after work, but I wouldn't do it at someone else's house unless I was really comfortable with them (ie: good friends). Unless you're at a beach house and wear flip flops all day, I can't imagine walking into someone's home and actually untying my shoelaces / undoing a buckle / kicking off my heels. Weird.

For me it's shoes off inside the apartment ALWAYS. The only time this doesn't happen if it's some type of worker (cable, electrician, etc) who won't - and if that's the case I line the floors with newspaper/cardboard boxes. My family is from Korea and it's what I grew up with. I can't say this with certainty, but even if I did not grow up in that culture I still think I'd take my shoes off - streets are dirty, do you really want to live in all that grime? Seriously? None of my friends have had issues taking off their shoes at the door. It's really not gross since people usually have socks on.

mmwitzke - re: purses - Absolutely agree, which is why I never put bags/purses on floors either. If I do (i.e. grocery bags), they are never placed inside the home (except used as a garbage bag, or in the entryway).

It seems like people should use common sense, i.e. don't ask great grandma to remove her Keds if it takes her 20 minutes to get them back on b/c of her arthritis. Don't push it with a guest who replies they'd rather not take them off...maybe they have an embarassing foot problem, maybe they have lifts in their shoes they'd rather you not know about, maybe they use orthodics and have back pain when shoeless.

Unfortunately some people care more about their carpet than their guests' feelings and have unbedable no-shoe rules. If you are really grossed out by shoes in your house, plan to clean up immediately after your guests leave...it's your problem to deal with, not theirs!

BTW I live in the snowy midwest, with crawling toddlers and brand new carpet.

My home/loft is a shoes-off zone. It helps that I have white epoxy floors. By that I mean people/guests get the hint without my having to give it that the shoes are off.

I love walking around without shoes.

Cheers!

I grew up in Canada and my Mom is part Chinese, so taking off our shoes when we got in the house was always a must. My husband is Chinese so he too grew up with this custom. We follow it almost always, including our guests. We have slippers available if they want, though almost no one ever partakes.

I know it depends on where you live, the weather, and whether you walk around town (downtown) all day. Personally, I automatically take off my shoes when I get home not because I'm horrified of all the grime and dry particles of loogies/poop/buggers and toxic waste that were previously mentioned, but because it's comfortable and because it is my own home. I would NEVER, ever force someone else take off their shoes, I would rather clean up after them. I don't have children, but I don't think that would make much of a difference honestly. I grew up in a large city in Mexico. We had a dirt road. Dust everywhere. We had cement/tile floors. My grandma swept, mopped, and dusted the house daily. At the end of the day, once people got home for good, they would remove their shoes and go around the house on socks or slippers. But people went in and out of the house all day long . . . it would be silly to be taking off and putting on your shoes 8 times a day. It seems totally unnecessary to me. Perhaps I don't fully understand the repercussions of a non-immaculate floor. Now that I live in the states (and have carpet in 70% of my house) I still carry the idea that floors aren’t supposed to be completely flawless. I enjoy a clean, just-vacuumed, fluffy carpet, and I vacuum 2-3 times a week but I don’t lie on, put my face on, and hardly ever touch my floors. My feet interact with it, but other than that, I don’t have much contact with the floors. I have a small kitchen (and even smaller bathrooms) and I clean the floors there by hand (on my knees) because I feel that gets the job done better. I know I grew up in a region where germs aren’t the worst thing that could happen. My immune system might be stronger than some people’s due to all the “different” germs I’ve been exposed to, but I just don’t really understand what the big deal is. How many BAD germs does an average person really carry into a house just by doing the average walking? Can people really get SICK from that? If you don’t get sick from it, then what’s the big deal? My husband (who is from Michigan) and I haven’t gotten sick from my lack of interest in bare feet and germ-free floors . . . yet.

Honestly, yes it is rude.

Floors were meant to be walked on with or without shoes. If you worship your floors to the extent that you'd rather inconvenience a guest than mop, then don't have guests over.

Period.

I always ask people to remove their shoes - even my 4 & 5 year old siblings. I understand that maybe people feel it is rude, but it is something that I value in my household. My family in Hawai'i does it and I do it here in the Midwest. Generally speaking though those people who are unwilling to comply or would be offended by the request wouldn't be friends with someone as blunt as I have been known to be.

I can't imagine going into someone's house and not following their house rules.

Truthfully, a strict no-shoes policy at someone's house makes me want to leave . . . and I HATE wearing shoes. I find it polite to offer one's guest to take their shoes off - same as a coat or a hat - but rude to demand it. The concerns about chemicals and filth strike me as slightly hysterical.

"I can't imagine going into someone's house and not following their house rules."
Really? I can't imagine arriving for a friendly dinner at a friend's home and being presented with a list of "house rules". Nor can I imagine having friends over for a fun evening and debriefing them about my "house rules" at the door. It sounds like boarding school, or camp!
I'm a no-shoes person, for the various reasons spelt out above, but laying down rules for guests and getting uptight if they don't notice them/follow them doesn't seem very hospitable. In some situations, it's clear that shoe-removal is preferred - a big pile of shoes by the front door, or certain cultural backgrounds (I'm from a Korean background, so many people just assume that they should take their shoes off at my place). But it isn't always so obvious, and the thought of giving guests - guests! - a list of conditions of entry to my home makes me cringe. As others have said, some people may be uncomfortable removing their shoes if they weren't expecting to (no socks, grubby socks, icky foot conditions, untamed nails...); and, if shoes do end up indoors, what's the worst you'll need to do? Mop or sweep afterwards? Why is this any different from the other things we expect to do after guests leave -- washing the dishes, emptying ashtrays, taking out the trash? No big hassle, and definitely worth the pleasure of a relaxed, friendly evening with friends in your own home.

I always take my shoes off inside and appreicate it when others do too. When I was in college I visited Bosnia for a couple of months. Every one takes there shoes off there. I was told it was because the places you walk are very dirty. You would see boys peeing on the grass and the appartment elivators stank of pee. When I came back home to the states, I thought it would be good to leave my shoes in the entry. Even here in California I have seen boys pee on the grass when there are public restrooms a few feet away. I have seen kids spit on carpet in office buildings. All kinds of gross things. Who knows what comes in on the bottoms of our shoes. Inside my house I like to sit and lie on the carpet. It grosses me out to think about what kinds of things would get tracked in on shoes and handbags. Even vacuming does not sanatize the carpet.

I always take my shoes off as well: I never realized there were people who wore their shoes inside their house. A lot of people say that asking guests to remove their shoes is inconveniencing the guest, but isn't trying to hobble around on carpet wearing stilettos even more inconvenient?

It just bothers me that people could have stepped in doggy no-nos or in spit/gum outside.

None of my guests ever complain, nor do I have to ask for them to remove their shoes. When they see me take off my shoes and place them by the door in the foyer, it's pretty much a given for them.

Also, it's common courtesy. It's not your house, so you should respect your host's wishes and wear your poo-covered boots in your own home.

i never wear shoes in my own home simply because i am more comfortable out of them. i am, however, very uncomfortable taking my shoes off in other people's homes, unless i know they are wet. i always worry that my feet might smell bad. it is uncomfortable visiting a home where the host is so particular about the guest's behavior, or overly concerned about their rugs. why have rugs (or furniture) that have to be so protected?

i prefer my guests to be comfortable. I have a doormat where people can wipe their shoes--though i chuckle to myself when people admire the mat, then step over it.

some of these comments repeat the theme that the guest is supposed to intuit the host's rule for no shoes, and the host judges them harshly if they do not. if hosting is that stressful or germs such a worry, it would be better to meet your friends in a public place where everyone can breathe easily.

To address the original "is it rude" question, I'm pretty sure Miss Manners would say yes. It might also be rude for someone to come to your house and want to ignore clues that what they do at home is not the norm at your house. But it's also still rude to reject a guest's customs (like wearing shoes), and hence the guest by implication, at your door. The meeting in public solution proposed by stefica would seem to be the practical way out.

No one sane actually worships their floors enough to not let people walk in with their shoes. However with that said, for me it's more of a cultural issue. I am Asian, born and raised in Asia and this "shoe" issue has troubled me often ever since I purchased a home in the States.

Once I politely "asked" someone coming into my home to remove her shoes and she actually complained quite a bit about it, and I was quite taken back by her behavior, even though she went ahead and did it. However later that night her upset pout and unfriendly demeanor changed when she sold over $1000 worth of products to my friends at our shopping dinner party so I didn't hear any more complaints about anything from her (funny how people change so quickly when money is involved).

I did make an exception once to the no shoe rule though, but that was because it involved very elderly people and I didn't want to be the cause of hip problems, dislocated joints, etc.

However this is how I see it. The world has been taken over by Mickey D, and Starbucks in every corner as well as MTV. Even the English language have become such a necessity that some parents have even stopped teaching their children to read and write in their own native languages. People like me who are not American but lives in America have tried our very best to talk like Americans, say "not" jokes, and even dress like Americans. People all around the world in fact has embraced all things American.

So if I decide to buy a home in the States the least I should be allowed to do is set my own rules in my house and can only hope that some aspects of my own culture will be respected in return.

I spent a summer in Spitsbergen, an island north of Norway. There, everyone takes their shoes off- even when you enter the museum, the church, the library, and the shopping mall! Usually there are racks of slippers to borrow while you're in the building. It is something to get used to, but it does make sense, especially when we think about how much mud and snow we were walking through.

DesignJunkie80 has not ridden the G train much.

I just don't worry about it that much. To date I've never tracked anything into my house that I could see or smell, so I try to not let it become a source of stress. I don't spend a lot of time licking or sniffing my floor though. I take my shoes off when I get home, but I'm not going to order other people around. They will or they won't, I don't really care. I will still vacuum and mop on a regular basis on way or another.

I have hardwoods and ceramic tile throughout my house. If I asked guests to remove their shoes in the wintertime their feet would actually become quite chilly from walking around on cold, hard floors! If it's recently been snowing, most of my friends will kick off their boots at the front door, but if it's simply cold and there's no fresh snow then they don't do it.

I usually take my shoes off at someone else's house if they're snowy, wet, muddy, or if I notice a pile of shoes near the front door. Otherwise I leave them on. I do the same in my own home. I like wearing shoes more than I like going barefoot, especially in the wintertime.

And really, it isn't that hard to keep floors clean. Mud or moisture is one thing, but most people's shoes aren't trekking dirt all over the place. Regular sweeping and vacuuming should be done in every household, shoeless or not..

I live in Norway, and here, people take their shoes off when entering a home. (This is also my experience when visiting and living in various places in Canada) The only times it's okay to keep the shoes on, would be if you're in a hurry to get something and then leave again, or if you're wearing dress shoes at a party. There is a distinction between "indoor shoes" and "outdoor shoes".

I assume it's custom, culture, common decency here, and since taking shoes off when visiting someone's home is the norm, asking a guest to please take his/her outdoor shoes off, would not be impolite. It is considered rude to waltz into someones home with shoes on, so a guest would ask if it's okay to keep them on if he/she for some strange reason wanted to keep them on. If there's a situation where you don't want to inconvenience your guest, it would be polite to insist that your guest keep their shoes on.

If you have stinky feet, you wash them before visiting, or you're smart enough to bring an extra pair of socks or something.

As a guest, it is common to observe the 'strange habits' your host has, and then 'do as the Romans' no?

People here often find it weird when watching American tv-shows/movies etc where people wear their outdoor shoes on in their own home. Like sitting on the couch watching tv with big boots on? Very strange.


And to orrismb: It's not common to take your shoes off at libraries, churches, shopping malls or museums in Norway!?!

I've been to museums/old buildings in various countries in Europe where they make you wear slippers to protect the floors, but it's not common to take shoes off in public buildings in Norway. Either someone's had great fun making you take your shoes off everywhere you went, or you've been to a really antique shopping mall, library etc, OR a very very small and intimate little town?

I'm Chinese, so we've always taken our shoes off. I've never had much opposition from anyone. Most people from all cultural backgrounds seem to understand. Most people see I don't wear shoes (but slippers) at home and they are kind of enough to ask before entering. My husband isn't Chinese and from his family's perspective, it's rude to take your shoes OFF! From the point of view of the Chinese home owner, it's rude if your guests leave their shoes on, so go figure! I've only ever asked one person to take their shoes off and that was a electrician who tracked in YELLOW MUD. I was livid because he walked back and forth and saw the mud himself and continued to walk around.

@ Max: Good point, I think I will implement your policy.

My comment is like everybody else that's from Canada. You take your shoes off, even if it's during the summer.

What is funny is that sometimes at partys, people bring their 'party-shoes', but there is a common understanding that those are mostly 'inside-shoes'.

Makes me realise that the shoes-issue is so particular!

Because I liek to keep my house especially clean, and because of my admiration for nudists, I actually have a no-clothes policy inside the house. To keep the house environmentally sound, I also asks my guests to eat with their hands because the detergent and water usage is unacceptable (and expensive).

Because of the cost and labor associated with washing blankets, for overnight guests I ask them to sleep on the floor, without pillows.

--

So here's the moral-- stop being a fascist and enjoy your guests. If you have to mop 3 square feet somewhere, deal with it. If you have white carpets you're an idiot anyway.

I *like* wearing my shoes. I feel like a toddler when I'm prancing around in socks. Leave me alone.

The reason why Koreans and Japanese (and probably other asians as well, but I don't know that firsthand) take shoes off at the door, is because traditionally, they slept on the floor. Unlike western countries, beds were not the norm, and Koreans used floor mats/blankets and rolled them up each morning and put it away. Then the bedroom would turn into an eating area/guest area. WHY would you walk in with shoes on if you had to sleep on the floor later that day? It's a cultural thing for us to just take shoes off.

I also don't think that asking guests to take their shoes off is rude. We keep guest slippers for people, and extra socks they can throw away later if they don't have any with them. I don't think it's rude at all for a host to not want to clean up the dripping wet shoes/mud thats tracked in when people come inside with shoes on. I might allow a guest to not take their shoes off if they absolutely refuse, but I would never invite them again. To me, it's just like being invited to someones house for a dinner party, and then hrowing a fit because you don't like anything there.

Shoes off can be cold in winter, especially here in NZ where building regulations have only recently been changed to mandate insulation in walls and ceilings and to include double-glazing. It's nice if you have attractive scuffs for people to put on as some Chinese people do.

However, I have found some front porches are obstacle courses as all the family seem to keep all their shoes there and they have to be negotiated before you can reach the door. Whoops!