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It is common practice here (Canada)to remove your shoes when you get into the house. I do know when I visit relatives in New York they think that my daughter is weird for insisting her shoes come off. I do know that sometimes we dont but it is usually the thing to do vs not to do.

I just find it keeps everything cleaner that way.

my mother's house has always been shoes-off, and while i never asked for her reasons it is a very clean place with relatively little vacuuming/mopping/etc. to do, and my brothers and i have followed suit in our apartments. when visiting anyone else, i usually take my shoes off out of respect for their floors unless it's clear they're not at all worried about that kind of thing, in which case i'm more concerned with respecting my feet.

My dad is half Japanese, and his mother always insisted on shoes coming OFF. I grew up following suit, although I think it actually kinda bothered my mom until she realized how much cleaner her house was if her two tom-boys left their shoes at the entrance. My home is mostly shoes-off, but it's more because we like to go barefoot than anything. I *do* encourage my guests to take theirs off at the door, especially if there are a lot of us, because getting stepped on by bare feet hurts a lot less than getting stepped on by somebody's spike heel.

Growing up my Mom was a stickler about shoes coming off at the front door, but right when I left the house for good Dad doesn't get yelled at for wearing his sneakers all the time. My apartment has tan wall to wall carpeting, so I prefer that people take their shoes off, and even if they see me do it, do they? No. My thing is that I don't know what they've stepped in, and believe me, if you walk in here and leave a stain on the carpet, you'll be cleaning up your own mess. Sorry to be to stingy, but that's just the way it's gonna be.

We don't usually have to ask our friends to remove their shoes. The display of shoes and flip-flops on the floor in the foyer is enough of a hint! Plus, I feel everyone just seems to be more comfortable and relaxed, myself included. Plus, I grew up always removing my shoes upon entering the house, so anything otherwise is unthinkable to me.

Honestly, it's rude not to at least *ask* if you should remove your shoes (think of all the dirt they can track in!). I always ask, even though I'm so habituated to walking in high heels that I feel naked without them.

My roommates and I all take our shoes off at the door. Close friends who come over casually usually follow suit, since they feel comfortable and are aware of our preference.

However, I would never, ever insist on this if I was throwing a party or something like that, which might include people I know less or friends who don't know each other. Imagine the embarrassing possibilities! Foot odor, long/chipped toenails, unsightly feet, etc. Not to mention the people that get grossed out by feet.

And let's not forget, as unlikely as it is, that infamous episode of sex and the city...

My boyfriend's friends have come over and flat out refused, I have guest slippers too.

Though in the issue of a party, I wouldn't ask for shoes off ....unless it was casual and I'd probably make a note of it on the invit so no-one was wearing impossibly tall laced boots or something like that.

I live in the midwest... well, really, I live just south of center. Pretty much no one does that out here. And, quite frankly there are some people who's foot hygiene is such that I wouldn't want to be exposed to their unshod feet. Don't get me wrong there are occasionally people who do that (white carpets, etc) and it's obvious that it's expected, and generally pretty relaxed.

When I get home I generally kick off my shoes at the coat rack but it's not a habit or ritual, just an issue of comfort. My friends are welcome to go shoeless if they want, but I'm not going to ask them to remove their shoes. I'll offer them the option as a comfort, but that's about it.

I don't know that I'd be comfortable wearing guest slippers unless they were disposable.

I find it so odd that people wear shoes inside their own home. How does that work, exactly? Do you wear them into the bathroom, and then when you get out of the shower all clean, your feet are immediately dirty from whatever your shoes tracked in there? How about relaxing on the couch and kicking your feet up (on the coffee table, on the couch) -- do you then rest your head on the couch where your shoes previously rested? And the worst one, for me at least, is going to bed at night. Do you tromp around in your boots all day outside and then most of the night inside, and just take them off bedside when its time to sleep?

So weird. I can't picture it.

I'm from the midwest and we always take off our shoes! I think people in my area go both ways, but in winter in Minnesota, if you leave your shoes on you might as well just dump muddy water all over the house.

I also recently read that in urban areas especially, people track in lead and other heavy metals and toxins on their shoes because cars spew out this kind of stuff. We live in Minneapolis, and everyone I know does the shoes off thing. It's nice.

My husband has taken to bringing his slippers when we visit his parents! I wonder if I should get some guest slippers. As long as people are wearing socks, I don't think it is gross.

In the summer here I am more laid back about the shoe thing, but I feel lucky to be around people who also like to take 'em off! It is just so much cleaner, especially if you have kids who play on the floor.

That infamous episode of SATC will always haunt me though. I won't nag a party guest if their shoes are clean.

My husband and I have lived recently in Thailand and China, both of which tend to observe the "shoes off" rule in homes. In China (in my experience) people then put on slippers to walk around the house to keep their feet off dirty floors, whereas in Thailand they walk around barefoot and keep the floors immaculate. At home, my husband prefers the Thai manner, while I like the Chinese way. It reduced the amount of dirt that comes into the house and wearing slippers means that you don't notice the dirt that makes it! ;-) (i hate emoticons)

Friends are free to do as they please.

mh330,

Those are the questions I wonder about too! It's so gross, when you think about it. Your shoes have tromped through whatever's on the sidewalk...in parking garages...environmental toxins in the soil...so many things.

It would be bad enough in a house with hard-surface floors like mine, but I know people with white wall-to-wall carpet and little kids where everyone is in shoes all the time!

This may be a stretch, but I wonder if it's a sociological phenomenon. The "shoes-on" people I know tend to be more affluent and suburban. The "shoes-off" crowd tend to be more modest and live in more urban areas, but more liberal and better-traveled.

This is something that most people don't think about...but purses/bags are the same way. Think about how many times you put your purse on the floor, or the ground, or a counter in a public bathroom, etc.etc.etc. and then come home and put it on household surfaces. After realizing that I kept my purse on the floor at work all day and then set it on my bed or kitchen table when I came home I got super grossed out. Now my purse ONLY ever rests on floors.

mmwitzke...EEW! I never thought about that. Now I will.

You would never enter a home in Asia without removing your shoes. That would be so rude and uncouth.

On the west coast, polite guests have been removing shoes whenever they see that their hosts do the same. I noticed this starting in the 1980s. Now even non-Asian families take off their shoes in their own homes.

Do folks ever notice how LOUD their steps are on wood floors when they walk barefoot? This has happened to me in two different apts in NYC - the person in the apartment BELOW mine walks around barefoot and I hear the constant thud-thud-thud of her steps. I'm sure she thinks she's being quieter because she's taking off her shoes, but actually it's quite the opposite. It's like hearing the thumping bass of a stereo.
I also can hear my boyfriend wherever's he's walking when barefoot (on our wood floors). Has no one ever noticed this?

In Malaysia, and I imagine throughout many Asian countries, you MUST take your shoes off when entering the house. Not doing so is considered very rude. In the old days, when people lived in wood houses on stilts, there would be a big earthenware 'pot' of water, equipped with a ladle made of coconut shell at the entrance. One would wash his or her feet before entering :) For us, shoes are dirty and you shouldn't track in dirt and impurities into your home. So, no shoes inside my house.

It's very rude to demand ANYTHING of one's guests, period. I don't have any desire to walk around a party in my socks, and I wouldn't dream of asking anyone else too either.

I worked for some people in their home and their rule was no outside shoes in the house. I had slippers that I kept to wear there, and it was really no problem. The problem was that their house smelled like stinky feet from walking around in sweaty socks!

My place is shoes-off for all the reasons listed above. I'm Canadian and I think it pretty much is the norm any place where it snows. It's hard to relax when you're surrounded by puddles of grimy water and chunks of rock salt.

"It's very rude to demand ANYTHING of one's guests, period."

I agree that it's impolite to "demand" things of guests, but it's not out of bounds to ask them to observe certain preferences. I'd ask someone to take off their salt-encrusted boots the same way I'd indicate that smoking should be done on the balcony -- nicely and in a no-big deal way.

For parties, people often bring their dress shoes in a bag and change when they get there. I can see how this would seem weird if you live somewhere warm, but it seems normal to us.

Please DO wear your shoes in my house.

I don't want nasty foot fungus/virus/sweat/stink smeared all over my carpets and floors.

I have a vacuum....I'll cope with the dirt.

You can pretty much gauge my level of friendship with a guest via what's on their feet when they visit. Close friends and family who are welcome to sleep over, drop by for dinner with little notice will have their shoes off, like those of us who live there do. People we don't know who are more formally visiting will usually be wearing shoes, because I don't ask them to take them off.

I usually ask my guests if they have ridden the subway or taken a cab to come visit me. If so, everyone must take their pants off.

I don't know what was on those seats that they sat in.

Last time I checked, people don't hawk up loogies, track dirt onto, poop on, pee on, pour beer on, have their dogs poop or pee on, stomp out cigarettes on, dump toxic chemicals on, pour anti-freeze on, dribble gasoline on, or blow snot rockets onto .... subway seats.

I live in South Africa and I have never ever EVER been asked to remove my shoes in someone else's home!

Sure I take my shoes off when I get home after work, but I wouldn't do it at someone else's house unless I was really comfortable with them (ie: good friends). Unless you're at a beach house and wear flip flops all day, I can't imagine walking into someone's home and actually untying my shoelaces / undoing a buckle / kicking off my heels. Weird.

For me it's shoes off inside the apartment ALWAYS. The only time this doesn't happen if it's some type of worker (cable, electrician, etc) who won't - and if that's the case I line the floors with newspaper/cardboard boxes. My family is from Korea and it's what I grew up with. I can't say this with certainty, but even if I did not grow up in that culture I still think I'd take my shoes off - streets are dirty, do you really want to live in all that grime? Seriously? None of my friends have had issues taking off their shoes at the door. It's really not gross since people usually have socks on.

mmwitzke - re: purses - Absolutely agree, which is why I never put bags/purses on floors either. If I do (i.e. grocery bags), they are never placed inside the home (except used as a garbage bag, or in the entryway).

It seems like people should use common sense, i.e. don't ask great grandma to remove her Keds if it takes her 20 minutes to get them back on b/c of her arthritis. Don't push it with a guest who replies they'd rather not take them off...maybe they have an embarassing foot problem, maybe they have lifts in their shoes they'd rather you not know about, maybe they use orthodics and have back pain when shoeless.

Unfortunately some people care more about their carpet than their guests' feelings and have unbedable no-shoe rules. If you are really grossed out by shoes in your house, plan to clean up immediately after your guests leave...it's your problem to deal with, not theirs!

BTW I live in the snowy midwest, with crawling toddlers and brand new carpet.

My home/loft is a shoes-off zone. It helps that I have white epoxy floors. By that I mean people/guests get the hint without my having to give it that the shoes are off.

I love walking around without shoes.

Cheers!

I grew up in Canada and my Mom is part Chinese, so taking off our shoes when we got in the house was always a must. My husband is Chinese so he too grew up with this custom. We follow it almost always, including our guests. We have slippers available if they want, though almost no one ever partakes.

I know it depends on where you live, the weather, and whether you walk around town (downtown) all day. Personally, I automatically take off my shoes when I get home not because I'm horrified of all the grime and dry particles of loogies/poop/buggers and toxic waste that were previously mentioned, but because it's comfortable and because it is my own home. I would NEVER, ever force someone else take off their shoes, I would rather clean up after them. I don't have children, but I don't think that would make much of a difference honestly. I grew up in a large city in Mexico. We had a dirt road. Dust everywhere. We had cement/tile floors. My grandma swept, mopped, and dusted the house daily. At the end of the day, once people got home for good, they would remove their shoes and go around the house on socks or slippers. But people went in and out of the house all day long . . . it would be silly to be taking off and putting on your shoes 8 times a day. It seems totally unnecessary to me. Perhaps I don't fully understand the repercussions of a non-immaculate floor. Now that I live in the states (and have carpet in 70% of my house) I still carry the idea that floors aren’t supposed to be completely flawless. I enjoy a clean, just-vacuumed, fluffy carpet, and I vacuum 2-3 times a week but I don’t lie on, put my face on, and hardly ever touch my floors. My feet interact with it, but other than that, I don’t have much contact with the floors. I have a small kitchen (and even smaller bathrooms) and I clean the floors there by hand (on my knees) because I feel that gets the job done better. I know I grew up in a region where germs aren’t the worst thing that could happen. My immune system might be stronger than some people’s due to all the “different” germs I’ve been exposed to, but I just don’t really understand what the big deal is. How many BAD germs does an average person really carry into a house just by doing the average walking? Can people really get SICK from that? If you don’t get sick from it, then what’s the big deal? My husband (who is from Michigan) and I haven’t gotten sick from my lack of interest in bare feet and germ-free floors . . . yet.

Honestly, yes it is rude.

Floors were meant to be walked on with or without shoes. If you worship your floors to the extent that you'd rather inconvenience a guest than mop, then don't have guests over.

Period.

I always ask people to remove their shoes - even my 4 & 5 year old siblings. I understand that maybe people feel it is rude, but it is something that I value in my household. My family in Hawai'i does it and I do it here in the Midwest. Generally speaking though those people who are unwilling to comply or would be offended by the request wouldn't be friends with someone as blunt as I have been known to be.

I can't imagine going into someone's house and not following their house rules.

Truthfully, a strict no-shoes policy at someone's house makes me want to leave . . . and I HATE wearing shoes. I find it polite to offer one's guest to take their shoes off - same as a coat or a hat - but rude to demand it. The concerns about chemicals and filth strike me as slightly hysterical.

"I can't imagine going into someone's house and not following their house rules."
Really? I can't imagine arriving for a friendly dinner at a friend's home and being presented with a list of "house rules". Nor can I imagine having friends over for a fun evening and debriefing them about my "house rules" at the door. It sounds like boarding school, or camp!
I'm a no-shoes person, for the various reasons spelt out above, but laying down rules for guests and getting uptight if they don't notice them/follow them doesn't seem very hospitable. In some situations, it's clear that shoe-removal is preferred - a big pile of shoes by the front door, or certain cultural backgrounds (I'm from a Korean background, so many people just assume that they should take their shoes off at my place). But it isn't always so obvious, and the thought of giving guests - guests! - a list of conditions of entry to my home makes me cringe. As others have said, some people may be uncomfortable removing their shoes if they weren't expecting to (no socks, grubby socks, icky foot conditions, untamed nails...); and, if shoes do end up indoors, what's the worst you'll need to do? Mop or sweep afterwards? Why is this any different from the other things we expect to do after guests leave -- washing the dishes, emptying ashtrays, taking out the trash? No big hassle, and definitely worth the pleasure of a relaxed, friendly evening with friends in your own home.

I always take my shoes off inside and appreicate it when others do too. When I was in college I visited Bosnia for a couple of months. Every one takes there shoes off there. I was told it was because the places you walk are very dirty. You would see boys peeing on the grass and the appartment elivators stank of pee. When I came back home to the states, I thought it would be good to leave my shoes in the entry. Even here in California I have seen boys pee on the grass when there are public restrooms a few feet away. I have seen kids spit on carpet in office buildings. All kinds of gross things. Who knows what comes in on the bottoms of our shoes. Inside my house I like to sit and lie on the carpet. It grosses me out to think about what kinds of things would get tracked in on shoes and handbags. Even vacuming does not sanatize the carpet.

I always take my shoes off as well: I never realized there were people who wore their shoes inside their house. A lot of people say that asking guests to remove their shoes is inconveniencing the guest, but isn't trying to hobble around on carpet wearing stilettos even more inconvenient?

It just bothers me that people could have stepped in doggy no-nos or in spit/gum outside.

None of my guests ever complain, nor do I have to ask for them to remove their shoes. When they see me take off my shoes and place them by the door in the foyer, it's pretty much a given for them.

Also, it's common courtesy. It's not your house, so you should respect your host's wishes and wear your poo-covered boots in your own home.

i never wear shoes in my own home simply because i am more comfortable out of them. i am, however, very uncomfortable taking my shoes off in other people's homes, unless i know they are wet. i always worry that my feet might smell bad. it is uncomfortable visiting a home where the host is so particular about the guest's behavior, or overly concerned about their rugs. why have rugs (or furniture) that have to be so protected?

i prefer my guests to be comfortable. I have a doormat where people can wipe their shoes--though i chuckle to myself when people admire the mat, then step over it.

some of these comments repeat the theme that the guest is supposed to intuit the host's rule for no shoes, and the host judges them harshly if they do not. if hosting is that stressful or germs such a worry, it would be better to meet your friends in a public place where everyone can breathe easily.

To address the original "is it rude" question, I'm pretty sure Miss Manners would say yes. It might also be rude for someone to come to your house and want to ignore clues that what they do at home is not the norm at your house. But it's also still rude to reject a guest's customs (like wearing shoes), and hence the guest by implication, at your door. The meeting in public solution proposed by stefica would seem to be the practical way out.

No one sane actually worships their floors enough to not let people walk in with their shoes. However with that said, for me it's more of a cultural issue. I am Asian, born and raised in Asia and this "shoe" issue has troubled me often ever since I purchased a home in the States.

Once I politely "asked" someone coming into my home to remove her shoes and she actually complained quite a bit about it, and I was quite taken back by her behavior, even though she went ahead and did it. However later that night her upset pout and unfriendly demeanor changed when she sold over $1000 worth of products to my friends at our shopping dinner party so I didn't hear any more complaints about anything from her (funny how people change so quickly when money is involved).

I did make an exception once to the no shoe rule though, but that was because it involved very elderly people and I didn't want to be the cause of hip problems, dislocated joints, etc.

However this is how I see it. The world has been taken over by Mickey D, and Starbucks in every corner as well as MTV. Even the English language have become such a necessity that some parents have even stopped teaching their children to read and write in their own native languages. People like me who are not American but lives in America have tried our very best to talk like Americans, say "not" jokes, and even dress like Americans. People all around the world in fact has embraced all things American.

So if I decide to buy a home in the States the least I should be allowed to do is set my own rules in my house and can only hope that some aspects of my own culture will be respected in return.

I spent a summer in Spitsbergen, an island north of Norway. There, everyone takes their shoes off- even when you enter the museum, the church, the library, and the shopping mall! Usually there are racks of slippers to borrow while you're in the building. It is something to get used to, but it does make sense, especially when we think about how much mud and snow we were walking through.

DesignJunkie80 has not ridden the G train much.

I just don't worry about it that much. To date I've never tracked anything into my house that I could see or smell, so I try to not let it become a source of stress. I don't spend a lot of time licking or sniffing my floor though. I take my shoes off when I get home, but I'm not going to order other people around. They will or they won't, I don't really care. I will still vacuum and mop on a regular basis on way or another.

I have hardwoods and ceramic tile throughout my house. If I asked guests to remove their shoes in the wintertime their feet would actually become quite chilly from walking around on cold, hard floors! If it's recently been snowing, most of my friends will kick off their boots at the front door, but if it's simply cold and there's no fresh snow then they don't do it.

I usually take my shoes off at someone else's house if they're snowy, wet, muddy, or if I notice a pile of shoes near the front door. Otherwise I leave them on. I do the same in my own home. I like wearing shoes more than I like going barefoot, especially in the wintertime.

And really, it isn't that hard to keep floors clean. Mud or moisture is one thing, but most people's shoes aren't trekking dirt all over the place. Regular sweeping and vacuuming should be done in every household, shoeless or not..

I live in Norway, and here, people take their shoes off when entering a home. (This is also my experience when visiting and living in various places in Canada) The only times it's okay to keep the shoes on, would be if you're in a hurry to get something and then leave again, or if you're wearing dress shoes at a party. There is a distinction between "indoor shoes" and "outdoor shoes".

I assume it's custom, culture, common decency here, and since taking shoes off when visiting someone's home is the norm, asking a guest to please take his/her outdoor shoes off, would not be impolite. It is considered rude to waltz into someones home with shoes on, so a guest would ask if it's okay to keep them on if he/she for some strange reason wanted to keep them on. If there's a situation where you don't want to inconvenience your guest, it would be polite to insist that your guest keep their shoes on.

If you have stinky feet, you wash them before visiting, or you're smart enough to bring an extra pair of socks or something.

As a guest, it is common to observe the 'strange habits' your host has, and then 'do as the Romans' no?

People here often find it weird when watching American tv-shows/movies etc where people wear their outdoor shoes on in their own home. Like sitting on the couch watching tv with big boots on? Very strange.


And to orrismb: It's not common to take your shoes off at libraries, churches, shopping malls or museums in Norway!?!

I've been to museums/old buildings in various countries in Europe where they make you wear slippers to protect the floors, but it's not common to take shoes off in public buildings in Norway. Either someone's had great fun making you take your shoes off everywhere you went, or you've been to a really antique shopping mall, library etc, OR a very very small and intimate little town?

I'm Chinese, so we've always taken our shoes off. I've never had much opposition from anyone. Most people from all cultural backgrounds seem to understand. Most people see I don't wear shoes (but slippers) at home and they are kind of enough to ask before entering. My husband isn't Chinese and from his family's perspective, it's rude to take your shoes OFF! From the point of view of the Chinese home owner, it's rude if your guests leave their shoes on, so go figure! I've only ever asked one person to take their shoes off and that was a electrician who tracked in YELLOW MUD. I was livid because he walked back and forth and saw the mud himself and continued to walk around.

@ Max: Good point, I think I will implement your policy.

My comment is like everybody else that's from Canada. You take your shoes off, even if it's during the summer.

What is funny is that sometimes at partys, people bring their 'party-shoes', but there is a common understanding that those are mostly 'inside-shoes'.

Makes me realise that the shoes-issue is so particular!

Because I liek to keep my house especially clean, and because of my admiration for nudists, I actually have a no-clothes policy inside the house. To keep the house environmentally sound, I also asks my guests to eat with their hands because the detergent and water usage is unacceptable (and expensive).

Because of the cost and labor associated with washing blankets, for overnight guests I ask them to sleep on the floor, without pillows.

--

So here's the moral-- stop being a fascist and enjoy your guests. If you have to mop 3 square feet somewhere, deal with it. If you have white carpets you're an idiot anyway.

I *like* wearing my shoes. I feel like a toddler when I'm prancing around in socks. Leave me alone.

The reason why Koreans and Japanese (and probably other asians as well, but I don't know that firsthand) take shoes off at the door, is because traditionally, they slept on the floor. Unlike western countries, beds were not the norm, and Koreans used floor mats/blankets and rolled them up each morning and put it away. Then the bedroom would turn into an eating area/guest area. WHY would you walk in with shoes on if you had to sleep on the floor later that day? It's a cultural thing for us to just take shoes off.

I also don't think that asking guests to take their shoes off is rude. We keep guest slippers for people, and extra socks they can throw away later if they don't have any with them. I don't think it's rude at all for a host to not want to clean up the dripping wet shoes/mud thats tracked in when people come inside with shoes on. I might allow a guest to not take their shoes off if they absolutely refuse, but I would never invite them again. To me, it's just like being invited to someones house for a dinner party, and then hrowing a fit because you don't like anything there.

Shoes off can be cold in winter, especially here in NZ where building regulations have only recently been changed to mandate insulation in walls and ceilings and to include double-glazing. It's nice if you have attractive scuffs for people to put on as some Chinese people do.

However, I have found some front porches are obstacle courses as all the family seem to keep all their shoes there and they have to be negotiated before you can reach the door. Whoops!

I don't buy nice shoes to take them off at the door for a party. And my man has flat feet so walking without shoes is painful for him. Shoes on, all the way. So far I haven't died.

"No one sane actually worships their floors enough to not let people walk in with their shoes." Colour me insane then. I live in Vancouver, not known for snow but for copious amounts of rain. No matter how much you wipe your feet, you're going to track in water and various other things.

"What is funny is that sometimes at partys, people bring their 'party-shoes', but there is a common understanding that those are mostly 'inside-shoes'" So true! And I actually pack socks with me if I'm wearing dress shoes that may be taken off.

Everyday friends, yes that is ok to ask them to take off their shoes. A party? Unless you give people advance notice - no that is rude. Furthermore, if you are so particular about your floors buy shoe booties and pass them out so that guests can keep their shoes on and your floors are protected.

ITA with mattww. There are just some things you're going to have to deal with to, you know, exist around other people. I think it's fairly obvious to people that if it's raining or snowing outside, shoes come off. Hasn't anyone seen that episode of Sex and the City? Ain't nobody gonna steal my Manolos!

(I never understood the purse-on-the-floor thing, especially if the floor isn't noticeably dirty. Who is licking the bottom of their purse? Germaphobia run amok!)

Loving these comments!

I'm from Vancouver (Canada) and I absolutely take my shoes off when I get home and when I'm a guest in someone else's home.

At my own home, my assumption is that guests will take their shoes off (every single person I know has). And I have a stack of new guest slippers that I offer to anyone (in all sizes!) In addition to comfort and cleanliness, the reasons I don't wear my shoes inside are: wood floors that don't need to be scratched by my heels, berber carpets in the bedroom that get 'pulls' by my heels, and tenants below who have complained about the sound of heels on the floor.

Now, there are exceptions to every rule... if I have a party, people are welcome to wear their flats/runners/flip flops inside the house. If someone arrives in heels, then I mention the wood floor & downstairs neighbour, and offer slippers or socks or whatever they're comfortable in.

And when I go to a party, I bring socks or slippers or where flats myself.

PS. The reason for no heels on my wood floors... a friend had a big party and the next day discovered tiny dents all over his wood floor. They were the result of a high heel without the rubber bit. Now I'm way too paranoid to allow heels!

We usually take ours off partly because of dirt. The biggest reason, though, is that I hate searching for shoes belonging to my 2 kids! They take them off and throw them in their bin just as a habit now. Definitely creates fewer tears in the am!

I'm Canadian, too, and while I usually take boots off if it's snowy, wet or muddy, I always have 'indoor shoes' to wear when I do.

I've noticed that people keep their shoes on in the summer, though. And I approve: I don't expect people to stand around in socks all through my dinner parties. And feet don't have the greatest smell.

Max, LOL! I take my shoes off in my home and have a general policy for most guests to do so, but I don't stress about germs and toxins when someone does keep shoes on. Air can be polluted, too.

Mine is also a shoe-free home and because I'm aware of how passionate the pro-shoes, you're-a-fascist-to-demand-shoes-off camp is it's always very awkward to ask people to remove their shoes. I usually tell friends in advance, and I always keep (new or just washed and unused) slippers for them. I hate it though how it's perceived so 'weird'--especially for me that I'm not of asian or canadian background.

Everyone must remove their shoes, even at a bigger gathering... the only exception is maintenance people of various sorts. I feel rude asking the plumber to remove his shoes... I have a sign on the door that requests people remove their shoes before entering.

I live in a residential area of a small city where there's a lot of salt and sand on the streets in the winter. It is a NIGHTMARE trying to keep the floors clean just from the dogs' paws. If we wore our shoes in the house too, it would be a constant job to mop up the puddles and nasty white/gray/brown tracks.

Enough people have commented on the disgustingness of parking garages, sidewalks, and even chemical-laden lawns that I don't feel the need to add more. It's just not that big a deal to expect people (except the elderly, or a large group at a party going in and out of the house) to remove their shoes when they see our family's lined up by the front door. I keep a stash of cheap Ikea slippers and wool socks available for anyone with embarrassing foot issues.

two words: HEPA. FILTER.

I totally understand the nastiness of tracking feces, dirt, and germs into the home with shoes-on...so for my family, we take our shoes off. Likewise if we have a friend or two over.

However...

For large groups, or more formal parties, we say either or. Some people really dislike taking off their shoes for whatever reason, and I would never force a guest to partially undress themselves to enter my home. It's not customary in America, so If they aren't expecting to take their shoes off, it can be a really embarrassing situation for people with ugly or stinky feet.

I've also considered just buying some socks to put in a basket at the front door to give to those who don't want to walk around barefoot

Gross I would never wear some used socks that someone handed me at their door. Disgusting.

If you invite people to your home you have the honor as the host to make them comfortable in your home. You can't spring on people that they need to take their shoes off.
Either tell them in advance so they can make preparations or deal with the consequences to your floors.

Or if you can't be a gracious host don't invite people inside.

Can't believe how many comments this question is generating - and with such passion. The really entertaining thing is to follow the link mentioned. An entire blog about removing shoes - - and it has been around since 2006. Now that is passion!

I, for one, hate shoes in the house. You step in public restrooms with peepee and you drag it in your house otherwise! Yuck!

Canadian.
Shoes off in bad weather. ....or, if it's really cold, and the shoes are clean, then wear them!
Couldn't care less in good weather....in fact, dust from shoes is easier to clean off of my hardwood than footprints from sweaty feet sans shoes/sandals. And shoes look better than most peoples feet. ..just sayin..

Every time one of the AT blogs posts something related to this issue (quite often, I might add), I'm always struck by how many people are absolutely hysterical about germs.

Also, the "How do people who wear shoes in the house exist? Do they wear them in the bath and to bed?" posts are eye-rollers every single time.

I have one cat and two dogs, which are indoor-outdoor, and two kittens (indoor-only for now). I live in a house which is gracefully designed in a style the SO has identified as Early Black-and-Decker -- right now there's a bag of cement in the living room and I'm halfway through drywalling the panelling after removing and redoing the fireplace surround. I'm the last person on this planet, I'd say, who gives a damn about germs or the precious floors or whatever. I installed those floors myself, but with two adults and five animals, there's little a guest can do that could match what I did when I had to side-step to miss the cat and dropped the nobounce AND the (metal) miter box. Both survived, as did, amazingly, the floor.

That said, the SO was raised in Asia, and I've got this thing about thresholds. We don't live in a cold area, so there's no "removing coats" as part of entering. Ten months out of the year, any guests are wearing short sleeves and/or shorts, anyway, so it's shoes that mark the threshold for me, and that aligns with the SO's habits/preference from his childhood. So I built a shoe-cabinet and that helps to make it obvious that it's a shoeless household -- with the exception of a) people who won't be stepping past the foyer/threshold, such as friends only stopping by for a moment, and b) workers like electricians or plumbers, who aren't friends nor guests and therefore do not follow guest rules. (Their boots are on for safety reasons, after all.)

The more crucial thing, though, is that I've got a dog that was abused before we adopted her. She's extremely distrustful of strangers, so what we finally figured out is that we have to delineate Scary Strangers from Non-Scary Friends (Who Give Treats). I do want her to bark at strangers, after all, but I don't want her getting freaked and harrassing guests. We've taught her that there are three things that mean a person is Okay By Us: the person removes their coat, puts down their bag by the front door, and sits down to take off their shoes. All of these actions mean the person lingers for a bit longer by the door while they 'get ready' to enter as a guest -- and that gives the dog a chance to realize that this is not a panic-moment.

Then again, when I know someone may be coming by, I tell them beforehand exactly what the procedure is, if it's their first visit. Their comfort in knowing the steps to follow translates to the dog as "this is perfectly acceptable and no reason to get upset". I've never had anyone refuse, with the exception of one friend with a hurt ankle who still made a big show of putting down bag, sitting on bench, pretending to take off shoes, and then standing up and moving to the sofa -- which satisfied the dog that this person was Allowed.

Unless I don't want someone staying for very long, in which case I don't point out we're a shoeless household. The dog's dissatisfaction with lack o' guest signs takes care of the rest.

i offer slippers and flip-flops for visitors in my house :-)

Generally, it's not the custom here in America to take off one's shoes when entering the house. I think, however, that most people would take off their shoes if they were obviously dirty or wet. Most people will also follow the custom and wishes of the host. And I doubt anyone who had gum on their shoes or poop (and come on people how often does this happen?!) would be walking on your floors because a) it smells and b) it sticks. Really there are more pressing things to worry and be concerned about.

In America, insisting that a guest take off their shoes is rude for the simple fact that it's not a widespread custom. Sure there are the germophobes and the those who it is their custom, by choice or cultural upbringing, but we haven't reached that tipping point where just about everyone is doing it. I don't think we're even close.

If I take off my shoes in your house, not only will my feet smell but my foot sweat will be rubbed into your carpet and floors. Something clearly wet and stinky has to be worse then whatever I might have dragged in from the concrete outside.

growing up my mom insisted we always wore shoes, even around the house. "Go put shoes on" was probably shouted about once an hour. Despite her insistence, we hardly ever wore shoes in the house. Now that I am on my own, I wear shoes even less. When we go home to visit mom, a pile of shoes forms near the kitchen door.

I only take off my shoes if it is obvious they could be dirty. Though when a realtor was showing our apartment while we were moving this spring, I did wish I had implemented a no-shoe policy for absolute strangers. One guy tracked dog crap into every room and I didn't notice until the damage was done. Cleaning carpets while packing made me more than a little irate.

I'm Canadian and in line with a lot of other comments from Canadians, where I live it is an assumed custom; Everyone entering another person's home takes their shoes off. Normally the only question I have relating to the shoes at the door question is "where do I put these?"

Similarly, if I am looking at a rental space in which someone is living, I take my shoes off at the door; if it is a vacant space shoes are fine.

The elderly and disabled in my life have always used either indoor shoes or slippers for their comfort at their own homes, and bring these along for visiting.

Also, at dinner parties or parties in general, there is the general assumption that boots, and shoes come off and there is generally a giant pile near the door for when guests leave.

I can think of only one exception - a Saint Patrick's Day party that happened the day of a snowstorm where the entry way and kitchen became so wet and muddy from removed boots that shoes were kept on unless one was goin further into the house.

In a notable experience at another party I attended, a foreign (American) guest was quite upset when she was politely asked to remove her shoes, however other guests weren't very sympatetic as it was winter and impractical; Her insistence felt quite rude, in fact.

these comments are cracking me up.

i can't imagine having 'house rules' that required my guests to take their shoes off, nor can i imagine handing them socks, slippers, or guest shoes. this is just crazy to me. no, i don't like sweeping/mopping/vacuuming any more than other people, but i invite friends over because i love them and want to be with them. if it involves a little extra clean-up after, so be it. i've gone 33 years with this behavior and haven't died yet from any germs.

also, it's not just the elderly with foot issues. young people have plantar fasciitis, arthritis, odor problems, self-consciousness of their feet -- anything like that, too. i'd rather my guests be comfortable and have a great time than demand they remove shoes to save me some hassle. i can't imagine embarrassing my guests by hinting or demanding that they remove their shoes.

for the record, i'm barefoot or in slippers (usually this) about 80% of the time at home, but not always. it depends on the situation, too, whether i remove my shoes at someone else's house. i have arch issues, and too much bare feet time = very very sore me.

I'm Canadian too, so the shoes come off. :) If I'm in the States, though, I'll do whatever I see my hosts doing.

Mostly I think it comes down to being a gracious guest in someone else's home - being polite and making the other person comfortable is a duty shared by both the guest and the host. I think if you'd like to wear shoes in someone else's home, you're a good guest if you ask politely if you can keep them off. If your host says 'yeah sure!' then it's okay, but if they look uncomfortable about it, take 'em off.

Otherwise, bring your own inside shoes, and even then, if you're visiting someone in an apartment or condo with hardwood floors, it's quieter and more respectful for the neighbours to go barefoot. I wouldn't want to get my host in trouble!

This is hilarious - wow has this inspired response!

I'm all for shoes off but ONLY if you wear the slippers provided.

No stinky sock smell or foot issues on my floors - which I find more offensive than whatever they walked in on the street.

I can't believe how people get so offended over something so small. I also can't believe how the onus falls on the houseowner here. If I went to someone's house and they asked me to take off my shoes, I wouldn't assume they were some sort of germophobe facist. I would just take my darn shoes off. I really can't see that it's so insulting to my expensive shoes/personal habits/smelly feet. I just do it because I respect them.

I don't ask people to take their shoes off at my place but they usually do because I do. If I did ask someone to come over and wanted them to take their shoes off or not smoke or whatever and they threw a fit, frankly, I wouldn't have them back, because that is very disrespectful. I guess I'm lucky that people who enter my house have more emotional attachment to me than their overpriced footwear.

my place is a no-shoe zone. it just doesn't feel like home wearing shoes. in fact, i only wear boxers in the house. imagine how stupid one would look with only boxers and shoes.

i live in san francisco with plenty of asian population. most people who come to my home take their shoes off themselves, and others would follow. in fact, i have a bench next to the door for that purpose. when i'm the guest, i always ask at the door. i think guests should respect the hosts' house rule, just like no indoor smoking.

its kinda ironic that the concerns from the people who are pro-shoes are stinky and sweaty feet with fungi. but how do feet get those? because of wearing shoes that doesn't help ventilate!

i think the pro-shoe people are mostly people who drive and live in the suburbs, coz their shoes only touches driveways and parking lots.

Our living room has an area rug that we sometimes lie down on. I certainly don't want guests to walk on it with shoes on!!

The rest of the house is carpeted, and I'm more worried about stains on the carpet than the germs.
I'm okay with guests wearing shoes in the bathroom/kitchen that have floors that can be cleaned properly. Obviously, it would be really weird asking guests to wear their shoes to the bathroom/kitchen but take them off before they re-enter the carpeted zones, so generally a no shoes policy is safest.

I'm from Asia, so in any case we take our shoes off.
That being said, if we had tiles or wooden floors I would be okay allowing guests to enter with their shoes on.
No not wooden floors I guess, based on what someone said about their floors being dented by high heels.

As someone with foot issues, I do sometimes prefer to wear shoes inside. I would never require my guests to remove their shoes unless they felt comfortable doing so. While it does mean that I have to wash the floors more often, I would hate to make my guests feel uncomfortable.

"i think the pro-shoe people are mostly people who drive and live in the suburbs, coz their shoes only touches driveways and parking lots."

I think the anti-shoe people are pretentious hipsters who grew up in the suburbs and are trying to pretend otherwise.

I think hosts who have house rules should make sure these rules are prominently displayed in 72 pt. bold with flashing lights and klaxton horns.

And anyone who will allow a guest to ridiculed is a jerk.

Oh my god, just deal with it. Shoes on or off, it's only for a short while.

This is not an issue about germs or stains, it's about courtesy. It is rude to demand things of your guests, but this goes both ways. Guests should be respectful of the home they are visiting.

There are also health issues involved here. Some people have to wear shoes for diabetic neuropathy, or peripheral neuropathy--the latter is extremely common, and special shoes or orthotics are commonly prescribed. People who suffer from this condition need to wear shoes during every waking minute, or they suffer intense pain.

I think it is fine to ask visitors to de-shoe, but it's important to be understanding and tolerant.

I never take my shoes off at the front door or ask others to. I have nothing against it, just never have. I usually just walk to the bedroom and take them off (for comfort). I don't have a problem with people asking me to take my shoes off in their home, although it doesn't hurt to give a heads up to guests before they come over so they can wear socks (or in some cases I guess, matching socks) if they prefer.

This is hilarious. To all the people worried about tracking dirt in, there is this thing called a doormat. You wipe the dirt off your shoes on it. It sits at the front door.
It must be an american thing... In Australia this is not an issue. I mean, some houses are shoes off, some on, but no one really thinks about it too much.
In my house my boyfriend leaves his at the door (big work boots) and I wear my dainty girly flats all over the house, yes, even in the (gasp) kitchen and bathroom.
I guess I could understand it in a place that snowed, but otherwise, I really don't get what the big deal is.

Not sure why people feel that name calling gets their point across more clearly.

It's very interesting that this theme attracts so many comments and some very emotionally charged opinions.

I am Japanese, and moved here in Montreal 10 years ago. People here are, or try to be, sensitive about difference among people's habit because the society is so ethnically and culturally diverse. I have never experienced any rudeness about shoe related issues so far.

I have a feeling that Japanese people are considered uptight neat freaks, but I am amused to read some comments that made me realize that there are people in North America who care about germs and dog poo on the bottom of their shoes..and bags.

Growing up my mom always had us take off our shoes inside. It wasn't so much a cultural thing as she had off-white carpet she wanted to keep clean. Some guests took their shoes off, others didn't. But in the year that I've lived in my new rental apartment, I've realized I've almost completely lost the habit of removing my shoes when I walk in the door. I think this is because the carpet on the stairs from the entryway to the living room is thin, cheap and scratchy. I don't like walking on it in socks and it doesn't seem to feel clean, even right after vacuuming. Eventually, though, the shoes come off. I prefer to curl up on a sofa or chair to read/watch TV, etc, and the idea of shoes on the furniture is just appalling. Which means the shoes usually end up underneath the coffee table. No shoes at least confines shoe clutter to the entryway...

Maybe it's because I'm a renter and most of my friends are renters that we all have a "Make yourself at home" policy. Shoes, no shoes. Up to you. Yeah, I'd like you to, but I'm not going to require it, ever.

I'm a no-shoer in the house myself. I liked the people who commented that for them it has to do with that transition. Shoes are what I wear when I'm out someplace that is "not home"- a restaurant, work, my bike, etc. But pretty much anytime I'm indoors and chillin, I want to be shoeless. I wear shoes in the home when I'm doing home repair or cooking.

As a kid we spent shoeless summers racing all over the block, getting tough feet (by the end of the summer you can scamper across gravel like a pro) and stepping in who knows what, so maybe that's why I don't like wearing shoes much- they represent the cold mean winter.

But for the sake of prolonging a discussion, has anyone had the reverse issue come up? A shoe taker-offer visting shoes indoors people? Does that lead to issues? When I did a student exchange to Costa Rica my host mom always would find me wearing no shoes around the house and freak out a little- as best I could translate, it had to do with the fact that she felt walking on a cold tile floor barefoot would make me sick- (sort of along the lines of getting soaked in cold rain will make you catch a cold). I was always having to be gently scolded into putting my shoes on and I'm sure its only one of the many lifestyle differences and silly things I did which probably leave them with a good story to tell.

I can just see them now saying, "remember that estadounidense tan flaca? Well she DIDN"T WEAR SHOES IN THE HOUSE. I swear I had to remind her every single day! Dios mio, who knows what those people who raised her were thinking- I thought she would catch her death of cold."

Mind you my host family was the only host family who thought hot water was a pretty useless idea (just encourages you to take long showers and waste water) so they had it deinstalled shortly before I showed up. Every morning, in the 50 degree weather I had to hop (shoeless!) into a cold tile box and turn on the spring fed water, so people's idea of what will make you sick really is very variable.

So who here has just pulled their shoes off inappropriately somewhere? Any good stories?

First learned of this shoes off policy on my first trip to Asia in 1980 and quickly adopted the practice at home as it just made so much more sense than traipsing dirt all around the house! All of my Asian friends provide clean slipper socks (kind of like the ones they give you on airlines) that you can put on over your own socks or bare feet and they will be washed after you leave. While we don't require guests to go shoeless at our home, I do notice when guests respect our practice and offer to go along.
Katy
http://fengshuibyfishgirl.com

i love shoes off
i didn't when i first moved ot hawaii I thought it was weird

but now i love it only thing is

alexs parents don't :/

only in the kitchen are we not allowed to have shoes on

I've never done this..I've never had carpet, either. That's who I thought did it, really. People with carpeting. My wooden floors aren't always the cleanest ( I sweep a lot but I'm not a huge mopper), so if someone wants to get their feet or socks dirty, they can just walk around barefoot in my apartment! hahaha Simply hibiscus- why only in the kitchen are you not allowed to have shoes on?

I'm also amazed at the number and emotional depth of the responses here.

I tend to take off my shoes because I like to run around barefoot, but I often go out into the garden barefoot, too. I'm just not that worried about germs, dirt, pollution, etc. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?

I have noticed that a lot of our (new) friends have assumed we have a no-shoes rule, because I tend to pile up shoes by the front door. It always embarasses me a little when they come in, and a while later, yank their shoes off. I don't want them to think that I disapprove of shoes in the house, or by extension, them!

Oh, this'll gross all the clean floor freaks out: I have a husband who works in an oil refinery and is a Brazillian Jiu-Jitsu fighter (bare feet on wrestling mats training with 30 sweaty men 6 nights a week...ugh). I have a ten year old son (boy's feet are one of the filthiest things known to man) whose neighborhood buddies (4 boys aged 10-13) are over all the time. Shod or bare, there are some seriously putrid feet in my house on a daily basis. Add to that ten cats and four dogs, two of which top out at 100 and 130 lbs. All of this in a 1200 sq. foot ranch--laminate floors, of course! Between the nasty male feet, the 9 lb. Papillon who REFUSES to potty outside, kitty litter-furballs-shedding-dog slobber...well, I actually have to tell people to PLEASE KEEP THEIR SHOES ON when they visit. I sweep several times a day, mop the entire house everyday with a bleach solution and spot-mop accidents (swiffer in every room!), etc. But I warn visitors they can never know what they might step in at my zoo. Actually, my daughter and I wouldn't mind coming over to some of your places to enjoy the pleasure of walking barefoot across a spotless floor :)

my house has been shoe-free for practically my whole life. Being Asian, it's rude not to take them off... you're totally offending your host.

Add to that the fact that your shoes have been all over the place and picks up all manners of scum - at my house all shoes are stored in the garage, they literally do not come in the house at all. I can't understand how people store their shoes in their closet. That makes no sense to me.

I don't make guests take off their shoes though, although the kids' friends all know to do it. They see my kids take off their shoes and they respect that.

There seems to be something all of the "pro shoes inside" people don't seem to understand. Not all of us "shoes off" people are militant germaphobes.... Some of us have children. We were a shoes on inside household until our then 8 month old son got severe lead poisoning from the lead particles we dragged into our house on our shoes, and our baby crawling around on the floor, putting his hands in his mouth, etc. Now we are strictly no shoes inside... It was not a fun lesson to learn. Just something to think about when you think people are crazy for asking their guests to remove their shoes.

I understand the no-shoes thing, but, um... fashion! I like wearing a complete outfit in my house and out. If I'm doing something especially dirty (like a lakeside dog walk in my rainy city of seattle), of course I will pull off my shoes at the door. But if it's a swank pair of boots or heels? No way.

I'm a shoes-off-inside person for both my own comfort (I really hate shoes. I hate socks even more) and to be polite at others homes. Occasionally I feel more awkward without shoes (especially when barefoot) then I did if I would have just left them on. At our house, it's all personal preference. I do notice that quite a few of their friends take off their shoes, presumably since they see us without shoes, or share my disdain for wearing them.
I'm also FAR, far from a germaphobe; those germaphobes that do enter my house will probably want to keep their shoes ON (ok, its not that bad, but its not that good, either.)


Also, my German grandmother absolutely flips out when anyone that enters her house is walking around barefoot, or often times even with socks on. She insists on everyone wearing slippers. She has TONS of hand-knitted slippers and she gives them away like candy. This remains true when it is 90 degrees outside. Further, she calls slippers "house shoes," and I don't know if that's got something to do with some funky english-german translation, or what exactly is the reasoning there.

I have a no shoes rule in my home. After living in Ny, I think that wearing shoes inside is gross! Plus, I like taking my shoes off after a long day! I find that even if I mop once a week and sweep regularly my feet and socks still get dirty! So I created a foot pad that sticks to the bottom of your foot or sock, Footums.

We leave our shoes by the door as a rule ... it's not a hard fast rule, though. Sure, keeping the cooties/gunk out reduces the amt of cleaning needed & makes for a healthier environment ... but, people matter to us more than our floors.

There are exceptions to the no-shoes rule. If our arms are full coming in the door, shoes come off after we're settled in. During lonnnng baking/cooking sessions ... bare feet/socks/slippers are no match for hard surfaces. So, there are shoes/mules with comfy soles that we only wear in the house. Our cushy rubber/gel mat helps; but, it's only 3 ft long & sits by the sink.

On the subject of rudeness, mutual courtesy is key when welcomed into another's home. But, the key word is "welcome". Usually people notice the shoes by the door & follow our example (or their own if they do the same thing at home). If they don't & it's a nasty mess outside, I get my point across pleasantly without insult. Likewise, it's wonderful when guests pay attention to how people behave in their own home.

I totally agree with the comments about purses. I don't put my purse on the floor; because I put it on tables, my bed, etc. in my home. How many times have I seen purses on the floor in nasty, high-traffic public bathroom stalls? Did those women plop those purses on their kitchen table, bed or sofa at home? Yuck!

The worst thing that I have seen is when we stopped at a rest area bathroom that was filthy ... no bathroom for 30 miles; so, we had no choice. A woman sat her tiny daughter directly on the wet, dirty floor in the stall next to me! The baby's legs, diaper, dress & hands were on the floor as she giggled trying to hold herself up (she looked to be

I live with a very dear, but old and incontinent cat and therefore, prefer to wear shoes in the house. My husband prefers socks and has a tendency to yell obscenities.