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Green Gifts For A Not-So-Green Friend?
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green_gift_tag_12-3.jpgQ: I was discussing this hypothetical question with a friend yesterday over coffee: Is it appropriate to buy greenish gifts for friends or family who are have un-green habits ... in an effort to nudge them in the right direction? For example: buy a cool reusable tote for the friend who just accepts plastic at the grocery store? Is it a nice gesture? Is it pushy? Is there a way to do it without being annoying?

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Good Question, holiday gifts, reusable totes

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Comments (19)

If it's an item they would use and like then I would buy it otherwise I think you are just adding "green" clutter to someone else's life.

posted by http://modernquiltlove.wordpress.com on December 5th 2008 at 3:44pm
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I think the tote would be the most practical gift - it the least personal (unlike a smelly candle) - but it is only a good gift if the person actually uses it.
When I lived in Tallahassee (college town) everyone used grocery totes, except for a few traditionals. LOL
Now that I'm in south florida (ft. lauderdale) no one does it. It's so weird, my boyfriend stopped doing it now too - since no one else does it he won't either - he's dumb -lol I make him do it whenever he comes with me to the store.

posted by nickel525 on December 5th 2008 at 4:24pm
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if it's a person you know well enough to make a good substitution for something they'll need or really enjoy, i see no reason why you shouldn't pick the more environmentally friendly option. and while they're exclaiming about how cute/awesome it is, you can say "aaaaaand it's green!"

posted by youreacigarette on December 5th 2008 at 5:01pm
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i think you would need to be careful to choose something that wouldnt make them do more work -- i mean, most likely that's the reason they arent being "green" in the first place, right? so you have to pick something that will maybe make their lives easier or enhance them somehow, without making more work.

I was looking at getting grocery bags for my family, but i threw out the idea because they wouldnt want to carry it to the store every time.

posted by beesknees on December 6th 2008 at 11:45am
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You could always give your gift IN a tote ;)

posted by Missee on December 7th 2008 at 12:40pm
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I think you can gauge it to the person and see how far you can push it. A greener alternative doesn't even have to be noticed (say, a picture frame that's bamboo or FSC wood). On the other hand, once when friends moved to a new house, I went out on a limb and put together a recycling system for them, presenting it as a housewarming gift, complete with highlighted recycling schedule for their new town. I was worried they'd feel judged or pressured; instead they thanked me profusely and told me how guilty they'd felt not getting in gear themselves to recycle! I now realize that I have to evaluate my friends and relatives, but pushing them a step or two further than their default is comfortable. More than that--ah, not so much.

posted by mAlice on December 7th 2008 at 4:16pm
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I think for some family members of mine who are definitely not green buying a green present is like the equivalent of buying them soaps and things for hygiene (what are you trying to say, I smell?!!) . I know some like minded friend would love the gift but I don't think it would be 'good enough' for a xmas present to the other friends or family.

posted by witchbaby on December 7th 2008 at 5:06pm
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I'll go with mAlice and youracig... get them something green that they will actually love (after all, it's not green if they don't use it.) Method goodies for the person who loves scent makes... sense. (Sorry, didn't plan that.) The tote bag would be pushing it. Then again, if it was superawesome and the recipient's style, it might work.

posted by whytephoenix on December 8th 2008 at 2:34pm
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isn't the point of giving a gift to someone to make them feel appreciated, surprise them, do something they'd appreciate?

don't use christmas as an opportunity to jump up on a soap box, salvaged wood or otherwise. if you're giving a present, make it for them and not for yourself.

posted by aeh on December 17th 2008 at 8:20pm
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If you're doing it just to be a green snot then yes, it is wrong and entirely against the entire spirit of Christmas.

If you are trying to shop greener for the holidays overall and find something they would use or really like, then you are okay. mAlice is right, it doesn't have to be reusable shopping bags or a glass water bottle. It can be something decorative that is made in a green way.

I was actually just wrapping up my holiday shopping today and had a similar situation. I came across a set of the ToGo Ware and ended up buying them for my mother in law. She doesn't go out of her way to be green (or ungreen). But I bought them because she carries her lunches to work and hates weak plastic ware, but also doesn't want to take her regular silverware with her. So it was greenm bought locally and she will like/use it.

posted by stellato on December 3rd 2009 at 4:14pm
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glad this question was asked... i'm specifically wondering about giving green toys to kids whose parents might not appreciate the extra nudge toward greenness. (would they think that i was trying to push a tree-hugging agenda on their unsuspecting six-year-old, or just be thankful for the gift?)

posted by amber77 on December 3rd 2009 at 4:20pm
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amber77: I think if they're toys that the parents/kids want/would appreciate, you're perfectly ok to buy green - if the parents object purely to the greeness (but are happy with the toy itself), you'd be within your rights to point out that they like/want the toy, and *you* object to buying non-green things, so you thought this would be a nice compromise (especially since buying green is better for the world their kid's going to inherit - might not want to say this bit though!).

When it comes down to it, assuming the gift is something that they want, and you've just chosen a green version of it, that should be fine. I think anyone who expects the giver of a gift to compromise their own beliefs, *whilst buying them a gift*, is pretty damned selfish and unreasonable.

posted by FoodieGreenie on December 3rd 2009 at 6:24pm
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I like Missee's idea of giving the tote as a wrapper!

posted by cicero on December 3rd 2009 at 6:34pm
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@amber77 - I would definitely go ahead with the green toys, and point out (in a nice way) that you were thinking of their kids because the toy doesn't offgas like the cheap plastic stuff, or lead-poison their kids like the made-in-China crap...

What parent can argue with that?!

posted by PEIgirl on December 3rd 2009 at 8:18pm
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Would you give an overweight friend WiiFit?

I'd suggest some other time than gift-giving to make a statement.

If you want to educate the un-Green about their habits, perhaps request FROM them that YOU would like a Green item.

But as far as Green toys, just buy what you want to give. Why does it matter to the recipient its Green-ness?

posted by patrick (the other one) on December 3rd 2009 at 8:23pm
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Last year, I got my sister a rice cooker for Christmas. It's got a steamer basket and prepares a fairly large amount of rice. I also spent time teaching her how to use it so she could easily make nutritious vegetarian meals with it. Now she can easily pack tasty lunches or have a quick dinner, and have leftovers that she likes for other meals. Most of the green is that a rice cooker has very low energy use, and it makes eating vegetarian easy and mindless.

Very green, and she uses it a lot. If I'd gotten her a more obviously green present, odds were she'd never use it.

posted by Torrilin on December 4th 2009 at 11:04am
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@Foodie Greenie and PEIgirl--thanks for the insight! yes, i plan on giving green because i'd prefer to buy green, and these will be toys that the kids will enjoy (what kiddo wouldn't want to build her own recycled cardboard princess castle, huh?) and if the green factor comes up, i can explain it politely without stepping on parenting toes. thanks y'all!

posted by amber77 on December 4th 2009 at 2:35pm
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I think saying to a parent "I was thinking of your kid because *this* gift isn't toxic or doesn't offgas" is presumptuous, obnoxious, and a slap in the face to the parents.

Save the preaching for some other time than Christmas morning.

posted by patrick (the other one) on December 6th 2009 at 11:27pm
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I think folks should start slowing down on the re-usable grocery bag gifting. I must have receive 8 for the holidays this year to add to my already prodigious collection. There is no way I will ever buy THAT many groceries at once. At this point every one we get is made with wasted energy and uses wasted space.

posted by jessman85m on January 13th 2010 at 2:16pm
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