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If it's an item they would use and like then I would buy it otherwise I think you are just adding "green" clutter to someone else's life.

I think the tote would be the most practical gift - it the least personal (unlike a smelly candle) - but it is only a good gift if the person actually uses it.
When I lived in Tallahassee (college town) everyone used grocery totes, except for a few traditionals. LOL
Now that I'm in south florida (ft. lauderdale) no one does it. It's so weird, my boyfriend stopped doing it now too - since no one else does it he won't either - he's dumb -lol I make him do it whenever he comes with me to the store.

if it's a person you know well enough to make a good substitution for something they'll need or really enjoy, i see no reason why you shouldn't pick the more environmentally friendly option. and while they're exclaiming about how cute/awesome it is, you can say "aaaaaand it's green!"

i think you would need to be careful to choose something that wouldnt make them do more work -- i mean, most likely that's the reason they arent being "green" in the first place, right? so you have to pick something that will maybe make their lives easier or enhance them somehow, without making more work.

I was looking at getting grocery bags for my family, but i threw out the idea because they wouldnt want to carry it to the store every time.

You could always give your gift IN a tote ;)

I think you can gauge it to the person and see how far you can push it. A greener alternative doesn't even have to be noticed (say, a picture frame that's bamboo or FSC wood). On the other hand, once when friends moved to a new house, I went out on a limb and put together a recycling system for them, presenting it as a housewarming gift, complete with highlighted recycling schedule for their new town. I was worried they'd feel judged or pressured; instead they thanked me profusely and told me how guilty they'd felt not getting in gear themselves to recycle! I now realize that I have to evaluate my friends and relatives, but pushing them a step or two further than their default is comfortable. More than that--ah, not so much.

I think for some family members of mine who are definitely not green buying a green present is like the equivalent of buying them soaps and things for hygiene (what are you trying to say, I smell?!!) . I know some like minded friend would love the gift but I don't think it would be 'good enough' for a xmas present to the other friends or family.

I'll go with mAlice and youracig... get them something green that they will actually love (after all, it's not green if they don't use it.) Method goodies for the person who loves scent makes... sense. (Sorry, didn't plan that.) The tote bag would be pushing it. Then again, if it was superawesome and the recipient's style, it might work.

isn't the point of giving a gift to someone to make them feel appreciated, surprise them, do something they'd appreciate?

don't use christmas as an opportunity to jump up on a soap box, salvaged wood or otherwise. if you're giving a present, make it for them and not for yourself.