apartment therapy changing the world, one room at a time

Hi Cindy,
The way I see it, even though you have a very good goal for your family at heart, your husband also have the right to live by his ideas of what's the right thing to do, you changing everything is scary not just because he needs to change now, but also, because it's always scary to see the people we love change, even in a good way.

My advice - start slow, that means that even if you really wanted to get that composting toilet, maybe this needs to wait till a later stage of this process. Also, at least for starts, I would avoid buying all those green cleaning products that are expensive or investing in designer fabric bags.

There are a lot of things you can do that will be green AND save money. Like using borax or vinegar as cleaning product. Borax costs about 4$ a box and is great for cleaning bathroom, laundry , dishes and basically everything, we go through a box in about 5 month. It's totally non toxic.
Try reusing the ordinary plastic shopping bags you get at the grocery store. I put a few in my bag (some people in their cars) and instead of getting new ones every time you shop, use the old ones. They don't need to last forever, even if you use them 2-3 times for shopping and then as garbage bags, you make a difference.

A lot of times being green is not about what you do or buy but what you don't do or don't buy, in that regard, being green can save you money - try letting towels dry after the shower and using them several times before washing them for instance, or walk to the store or school instead of using the car (good for the environment, your gas bill and your body). Eat less meat - replace one meat dinner a week with a vegetarian chilly or curry, this is a big thing for both body and environment.

And - don't force your husband, or be too pushy, or be angry or ct all superior.

Cindy, I have found that being green means I am more frugal. You don't need to buy expensive, recycled stuff or 100% organic to do the planet (and your wallet) a favor. Here are some simple tips:

-Wash and re-use plastic bags for storing some items. I place them on my pasta drying rack to dry.
-Sort recycling. We keep our recycling in a container without a plastic bag liner, and empty it directly in the dumpster when full. Doing this means we fill fewer trash bags, and use them less frequently.
-Install a low-flow shower head or keep a kitchen timer in the bathroom to encourage family members to take shorter showers to conserve water.
-If you have a yard, install an outdoor clothesline using rope and pulleys found at a hardware store. You don't need an expensive kit. We made ours for about $11.
-Check your water heater setting - it shouldn't be higher than 120 degrees.
-Compact fluorescent 60 watt bulbs use much less energy than standard incandescents. They are fairly cheap now and I an often find them as freebies.
-Make sure your car tires are fully inflated. Every ride a bike with low tires? It's really difficult, and the same concept applies to your car. When your tires are not at the right pressure, you are using more gas to get to your destination.
-If you have any space at all (even containers on a sunny balcony) try growing some food. Radishes, lettuce, carrots and beets are grow very well in containers with minimal maintenance. Organic tomatoes are around $5-6/lb at the grocery store, but if you can grow just one plant (seedlings are around $4) you can get 10-20 lbs of fruit.

Low-flow faucets and showerheads! You'll save some money, the kids will notice the change and ask questions (and hopefully get excited about saving the earth too!) and the hardware is pretty easy to install, so it doesn't feel like a whole lot of effort on the part of your somewhat-reluctant husband. I have some recalcitrant roommates and this was a great way to get them on board.

There are lots of things that are green AND save you money. Buying bulk dry foods like rice and beans, bulk hand and dish soap to refill old containers with. Using baking soda and vinegar as household cleaners. 4$ worth of cloth napkins will last WAY longer than 4$ worth of paper napkins (especially with two kids who just LOVE to grab a big handful when cleaning up messes). If you don't want to BUY cloth napkins turn ratty old T-shirts into rags to clean up messed instead of paper towels.

Does your husband enjoy working outside or in the garden? Help him start a compost that will get rid of kitchen scraps and give you great fertilizer. If you start a worm farm your kids will love that too.

If he is worried about money, start with the smaller things that don't cost you ANY money, like making sure lights are turned out and unused electronics are unplugged. Set the thermostat a little lower. Reuse gift bags, or wrap things in repurposed paper. I like to cut apart old paper grocery bags to wrap presents, I think packages look neat wrapped up in brown paper. Kids will love wrapping presents for their friends with the Sunday comics. Put things in the recycling, encourage your kids to create art projects and get crafty with the recycled stuff. I remember making GREAT paper doll houses out of old cereal boxes. And there is the ever popular Milk Jug turned bird feeder.

But I agree if your husband is hesitant don't try to get him to change everything at once. Maybe you can change some things about YOUR routine that doesn't affect him. I switched from shampoo to baking soda for washing my hair, I usually go through a bottle every month or so. The HUGE box of baking soda cost HALF what a bottle of my shampoo does and in the past couple months (at least 12$ worth of shampoo for me) I haven't put a dent in the 3$ box of baking soda. What you wash your hair with won't affect his life at all.

You could try keeping an actual tally of that you save/compare electric bills to last years if he REALLY doesn't believe you. Agree to only use THIS money to buy organic foods at the grocery or that new low-flow faucet. But don't rub these things in his face, don't force him to do anything he is uncomfortable with. Mostly, just have faith that he loves you, and that if he sees you making an effort he will start changing his ways too.

If nothing else, tell your husband the less waste you make as a family the the less he has to lug to the garbage can outside ;)

There are things more important than money costs, namely, children. The only lasting gift we can give to our grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and future generations is a healthy planet. I'm sorry, but I had had enough of my husband's excuses and told him flat out that if he cared about the future of his DNA, then he better help ME a little. Sometimes it's really hard for some people to see beyond a generation, so ask your husband to take a good look at your children and imagine them in 20-30 years when they have children and then in 50 when they have grandchildren. What do you want for them!!!?

Whew, sorry that was such a long post.

Going green can be overwhelming how about choosing one area that's low cost/will save money like trying to reduce waste on focus on that? That means, trying to get an extra use out of items before throwing them away, buying in bulk, cooking from scratch more instead of eating prepared foods that can generate a lot of waste. I also look for low cost ways to do things like recycling. I have to pay for curbside pickup or I can take my items to a dumpster for free. Since I use the free method my recycling bin is an kitchen trash can in our garage. I have a lot of frugal green living tips on my blog too.

Even though being green is a worthy cause, you husband don't really need to abide by your rules. We all do things that are not in our best interest, like eat unhealthy food or smoke or decide to invest money in a new pair of shoes we don't need instead of saving it for a rainy day. Your husband have every right in the world to not choose to be green.

If being green is important to you, then there are many ways you, without his contribution or involvement can go green, and without spending money and actually saving money like:

1. Are you responsible for the food making in your family, if so - skip one meat\chicken meal a week. A vegetarian curry or a beans chilly makes a great meal and is much more environmentally friendly then meat.

2. Do you use fabric softener - don't. Use borax instead, it's cheaper (about 4$ a box), more effective and non toxic. While you are at it, use borax for cleaning your bathroom, stove, dishes and just about anything. Also - when it comes to laundry, don't use the hot water, borax and cold water are enough, your cloths would last longer and your electricity bill will decrease drastically.

3. buy second hand - there are so many goodwill \ salvation army stores out there. I buy all of my cloths second hand, I but most of the books I read second hand - especially if you have kids who grow out of cloths in 3 months or so, it makes a lot of sense to buy used stuff instead of new.

4. resell or donate your old cloths \ furniture \ books. Again, goodwill \ salvation army \ school \ homeless shelters would love to have anything you can donate. You'll be producing less garbage.

5. Do you shower every day?! skip one shower a week (save on water, electricity to heating the water, water and electricity in washing your towel, soap and shampoo and all that).

6. Buy less (do you really need another pair of sandals for this summer?)

7. pay your utility bills online - most companies will not even send a paper bill if you ask them not to, this will save on paper, postal fuel (and postal money).

8. Walk - this is good for the environment, your gas bill and your body. If your son's school is walking distance, walk them there instead of taking the car. how about the grocery store? is it walkable distance? how about going to work? If this is too difficult to do all the time, commit to out day out of the week of walking (to work \ school \ store) instead of driving your car.

9. Turn the light off (and heater \ AC and TV) when not in a room.

Don't get upset with your husband if he doesn't want to do any of those things, just do them yourself and be understanding to him not wanting to take part, just like living by any type of ideal (like religion for instance or being vegan) it's not for everyone. You can create s big difference on your own, as a person.

When you do something thats environmentally friendly, and your husband asks why, tell him it is to save money

when your kids ask why, say its for the environment.